Hmmmmm. Friends can be somewhat delicate. I have this one friend who is two decades younger than me and is having a horrible time on the romantic side of life. She is a lesbian, not that it really matters, but sometimes I think women to women romantic relationships can be a bit more troublesome then women to men. At least that's what I've observed by watching her over the past year exit one relationship and flop into the next. Is it because women are the more emotionally charged gender? Is it that they are just both really in touch with their feelings? Is it that they are both nurturers? I don't know. But there seems to be a lot of emotional playing and a lot of hide and seek with their feelings.
Last week she proclaimed it was over and then today she was red faced and in tears over her former paramour going out last night. I want her to be unable to live without me, my friend sobbed. I sat on the other side of the couch not sure how to respond. Part of me just wanted to just roll my eyes and chock it up to young, sloppy love and then I was feeling angry at her for being so sloppy with her emotions. Just pull it together and forget about it, I wanted to shout at her. Then I think why am I so uncomfortable with this display of emotions and this conflicted feeling of love. Is it jealously? I don't think so. Is it the Bostonian in me that just wants everything in life to be really neat and clean and crisp. Or have I become harden to it after slogging through the flotsam and jetsam of my 20 year marriage that ended rather abruptly. All I know is that I have this anxious feeling and I don't like it.
I feel bad that she is in such pain. I wish that life for her was easy and that some wonderful young woman will come along and just sweep her off her feet. But for some reason that is not in the cards right now. She has to fight through the pain and the feelings of rejection. Part of me wishes I could do someting to make her feel better, but I guess it's all part of growing up and being still so young. Experience is truly the greatest teacher if you are willing to learn. I know that this pain will go away and like me she will find the right romantic partner and it will be as close to heaven as anything can possibly be on earth. I guess it just hard watching her pain when I now know that pain is only temporary and she hasn't learned that lesson yet. It goes away and then you peer into the days ahead and realize the marvelous thing that life truly is. I guess that's the benefit of being 48 and not 28.