It is a grim March day in Chicago. The sun peeked out for maybe 10 minutes this morning. It's been raining and thundering off and on all day. So I feel like the day -- grey and really and truly unmotivated. I did make it to the gym this morning and did my cardio and weights. But I came home poured a glass of cold water and headed to my bed. Here I sat. I surfed Netflix on my laptop found a movie and just drank water and ate some chips and watched the film Penelope (a little gem and quite a message for young women, for all actually).
I played around on the internet, wrote long, thoughtful emails to friends who I don't communicate with often enough and finally climbed out of bed into the shower. By 2:30 p.m. I descended to the living room -- only to search for yet another movie to watch, this time The Shining. OK then I loaded the dishwasher, pushed the start button and reclimbed the stairs and back in my bed to write some more emails.
Finally my daughter prodded me out of the house to pick up her friend and to head to the store for provisions for her and some goodies for me to bring to a dinner party tonight.
I have NEVER in my life behaved like this.
I have always bounced from one activity to the next. But I think right now I just have a need to be. I need quiet. I need solitude. I have fantasies of renting my very own little cabin somewhere on a lake -- the big one to the East would be nice -- and bringing along books, scotch and some good movies. And of course, a beautiful bouquet of flowers to keep things cheery.
I guess I am resting and getting ready for the next leg of my journey. I have felt like I've climbed long and hard to reach where I am for the past few years. And now, I just want to admire the view. I want to relish the accomplishment. I want to survey the beauty of it all. Then I'll pick myself up and with great faith and deep optimism I will continue pushing ahead and see what's in store next.